and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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