Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
