Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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