Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My feet surprised me
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