God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
