My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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