That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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