I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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