And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize