Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
