i just google imaged poop.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Randomize