hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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