So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
