Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
