Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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