At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize