You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
