So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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