Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We are all done wearing pants today
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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