So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
