I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
