it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
