wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize