Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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