so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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