Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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