my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize