Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
