And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize