walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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