Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
