the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
