Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
As shirtless as possible
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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