butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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