I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
