so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
