When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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