I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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