Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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