I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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