I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
