I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize