we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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