this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
