I wannas sexs uuuuu
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
