I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
