Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
