so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
