Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Randomize
