i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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