guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize