I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
