I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
