I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
