I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
