I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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