Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
what day is it and did you see me today?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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