I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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