we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
