Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize