shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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