Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
