its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
